May, 9, 2008
This is my third email to you. First of all, may Yahuah continue to
bless you and provide you with devine instructions for his brides. I
really need to here from Yahuah so he can give me instructions in my life. I
have been praying for years for an answer for direction but it seems
my decision making is flawed and that is what brings me to you. I came
to Atlanta after my wife. She was here since February 2007 by herself; I
came in October 2007. I thought then, I was making the right decision
because a man is suppose to be with his wife. I left my job in faith
believing that Jesus, I did not know Yahuah at the time, would bless me
with a job. Well it did not turn out that way and my wife has now turned
that decsion against me stating that was not a good decision; and she
thrown other bad decisions i made in the past at me. I feel her pain
because she had to go into her 401K just to keep the roof over our head.
I finally got a substitute teacher posiiton in February 19, 2008. !
It was a little money but the burden on my wife continues. In two
weeks, I will be out of work again.
The accumulation of all of this,
coupled with my prior past decisions to leave jobs to start businesses etc,
has brought me and my wife to this point. I never made a decision
without the best interest of my family. She told me the other day she does
not love me anymore only as the father of our 14 year old daughter. I was
until two nights ago sleeping in the other room. Last night I could
not take it anymore and moved back into the bedroom with my wife against
her wishes. I am crushed mentally, spiritually ad phsically. One thing
in my life I thought was impreganable against the world, was my
relationship with my wife. If I tell you how we met, you would probably agree
it was not by chance but Yahuah had something to do with it. I will
just tell you we went to the same high school and have been married since
August 1992. At the present time, Iam an emotional wreck, I find m!
yself crying through out the day, feeling worthless, and depressed, a
The only relief is when I am with my students. They
are a bunch of great seniors getting ready to go out into this lawless
world. I pray for them often. I even brought one of my students to
Yahuah; he told me such on oue of our Sabbath calls to my Yahuahin brothers
and sisters around the country. I was deeply moved. My spiritual
students have recognized my dispair and have been praying for me. They see the
difference in me in class. I am currently walking around with knots in
my stomach and In a fog. Talking to Yahuah at every chance I get.
Hoping and praying that he reveal himself to me, with direct contact, a
word, a feeling, an angel or a prophetic word from a gifted inividual. I
NEED HELP, I NEED HIS DIVINE PRESENCE, IAM SO LOST RIGHT NOW. I do not
want to lose my wife or our new home. I do not want to be a part time
dad; I did that already. I have been literaly screaming and crying out to
Yahuah and Yahuahshua Ha Mashiach daily, all day, most of the day!
and throughout the day. Praying for a job or business inorder to take
this tremendous burden off of my wife and on to me. She is completely
frustrated with me and I overheard her telling her sister that she
maybe seeking a divorce. I am a good man. I am a religious man. I do not
drink or smoke or go out to parties. I go with out so my family can have.
I go home to be with my family because I love being with my family.
Yes, I have made mistakes in the past but I repented long ago and asked
Jesus for forgiveness. I just cannot understand why Yahuah is not
hereing my prayers.
I do not want to lose my family. Please pray for me and
my wife. Her name is Cathy Tharp. Ask Yahuah to talk to her and remove
that hard heart that she has acquired. She is upset that her feelings
towards me have changed. She knows that Iam a good man but there is a
but. She has been praying to Jesus for discernment. Please ask Yahuah to
bring her back to me and ask Yahuah to bless me to be the provider !
of my household. Currently, I need a job in the worst way but!
I do no
t know what to do. I am applying online but I have not received one
interview since coming to Atlanta in October. The bills are piling up and
we had to rent out a room in our house to help pay the bills. My wife
rented the room to man (Toney)who just completed a divorce that she met
were she works. He seems to be nice but I do not know. I need strength
to keep going. My will is weak and I am trying real hard to keep my
faith, Fighting the good fight of faith. Please pray for me. I need
guidance and direction because I no not what to do. It is just extremely
difficult to go home everyday knowing and feeling the love from your wife
is not there. As always, it is Yahuah's will not mine that prevails.
Thank you for your prayers.
May Yahuah continue to Bless you and protect you, so you can assist
those lost souls in this lawless world.