R O B I N
I was soon taken into care, and spent about 3-4 years moving about. I was put with a foster family, but when they had a baby girl, I apparently acted very jealously and eventually had to leave as it wasn't working out. I just wanted to be loved and must have felt rejected in some way through them having another child. I then spent time with my grandma before ending up in a children's home.
At the age of 5 years old, I was found foster parents who took me in. They had a daughter of their own called Ruth, and 2 other foster children called Debbie and Darren. who were brother and sister. During my school years, it was tough. Not only was I constantly being bullied at primary and secondary school, but I was simply restless and as a result didn't really perform well at all. My work at school was ok at times but generally I struggled. I might have looked fine on the outside, but on the inside it was a different story. Looking back, it is clear that to some degree, my insecurities from earlier years were affecting my life. Darren had become extremely violent within the family and starting being very aggressive with everyone, including hitting my sister and pinning my mother up against the front door. It was difficult to deal with but eventually he had to leave as none of us could cope with it any longer.
At the age of 15 years old, after Debbie and Darren had already left home, I was adopted by my foster parents. This gave me some feeling of security and stability. I still had issues though, although I didn't fully understand them until much later.
My foster parents were Christians and I had to go to Church every week and Sunday School. In 1984, I went forward at a Billy Graham crusade at a football stadium, and gave my life to JESUS. I was only 10 years old and looking back, I wonder if I went forward because so many others did. But this was my first real commitment to the Christian faith and it led to me to looking more closely at the Bible and following daily readings with TOPZ, a young persons study guide. I distinctly remember saying to my best friend at school, that I wasn't going to take the faith very seriously until after I had left school, because it was just too hard.
After A-levels, I went on a 1 year mission with the Methodist Church, called the Seed Team programme. Teams of 3-5 people were planted in houses across the country, to work alongside a local church. This included youth work and other church related activities. It was during my time on the Seed Team programme that I first really became aware of the Devil and his efforts to oppose any work that involved serving GOD. I had considered he existed but never really understood how or who he was. After my year on the Seed Team programme, things were a little clearer on this issue. I came across people who both denied his existence, or seemed obsessed with him to the point where everything that went wrong in the world was the Devil. I came to realize that both extremes are dangerous.
A year later, and I was at Bible College I had some unbelievable highs and lows. Whilst at College, I tried to deal with some of my past. This included considering contacting my birth mother. (The Social services had given me a moving calendar when I was a boy, that helped me understand where I was between being taken into care at 1 year old and being fostered at 5 year> s old. They also gave me some photos of my mum, grandma and some toys etc. I had these with me at Bible College.) However, I just ended up getting depressed and regrettably threw my moving calendar and photos in the bin. I got involved with a girl for a short while but when she dumped me very abruptly I was in a terrible state. I ended up running away into the nearby woods when I should have been at lunch. I was very upset for some time until a book I was reading made me realize that my life was not mine but HIS. I got down on my knees and surrendered my shattered emotions to HIM. Following this, I had an incredible peace and was no longer upset at losing my girlfriend. Again, I was seeking to be loved and the rejection really hurt.
In 2001, I was Baptised by immersion at a Baptist Church I was a member of. A week before this, a relationship I was involved in with a 14 year old girl went completely wrong and left me so depressed and upset it was unbelievable. Looking back, the problem lay in the fact that my whole world revolved around her. Although I was a Christian and prayed and went to Church, too much of my security had been placed in Sam and ALL my security should have been in GOD. At my Baptism, I made a speech which stated I was sick of sin in my life and that I really wanted to be serious in my relationship with GOD. I remember feeling emotional and meaning every word I said. However, the 3-4 years following my Baptism, I completely lost faith in GOD and starting rebelling. I got heavily into pornography and fetishes, found myself about £18 000 in debt and became increasingly miserable.
I was very angry with the Church I was a member at, because after I drifted away, hardly anyone enquired as to where I was or how I was. I felt lost, confused and depressed most of the time. Any moments of happiness were of a worldly nature and soon faded. The kind of happiness I really needed was not going to be found in temporary pleasures, whether it be spending money, watching endless videos or sexual lust. The amazing thing is, GOD only let me go so far. For example, I joined a dating agency where you arrange to meet girls through a company. I made 13 arrangements but never met one single girl. One thing after another happened that stopped me meeting anyone. The agency were astounded and said it had never happened before. The girls were not being paid and it was all free. 0 out of 13........coincidence? Definitely NOT!!!
At work, I have internet access. Late 2005, after praying that GOD would lead me to a Christian website which would really help my faith, I came across almightywind.com. It seemed the longer I spent looking at the website, the more determined I became to sort my life out. It was like a fire began to stir within me. Most of my life, I have had a yearning to live a Holy life, but constant failure and disappointments made me think I just had no chance, and that I was always going to be a failure no matter what I did. However, when I read prophecy 79, it shook me up and I suddenly realized that time was short before the return of JESUS. I recognized the voice of GOD in the prophecy. These were not the words of a human being. The words really spoke to my heart and really affected me. It was literally now or never. I had to let go of my past failures and disappointments and trust GOD to sort my life out. I couldn't go on the way I was any longer. Was I using my past as an excuse not to be obedient to GOD?
I am here to testify that GOD has completely turned my life around. My past is no longer my enemy, but rather I trust that GOD allowed things to happen to me for a reason. I can help others who have struggled with the things I did. Also, all the trials I went through only served to make me see that I cannot trust in myself. I am my own worst enemy and if I am not daily trusting in GOD to keep me from falling, I am in big trouble. I cannot expect GOD to bless me if I am not honouring HIM through obedience. I now have a relationship with GOD through JESUS and I am experiencing fantastic times of fellowship. I have an inner desire for holiness like never before and a longing for the return of JESUS.
I would urge all who think that they can never be good enough to serve GOD to realize that in your own strength, this is true. But if you give your life to GOD and hold nothing back from HIM, you will discover a strength you never thought possible. HE knows your heart so don't think that there are things HE doesn't know about. HE knows everything about you...more than you can imagine!! JESUS paid the price for sin once and for all, so that we might no longer struggle against it. Pornography and sexual lust used to have such a grip on my life, my thought life was plagued with filth and it used to affect my sleep. But now, GOD gives me the strength to overcome all the temptations. Don't think that you are too much of a sinner to be saved. JESUS died for sinners!!!
Seek HIM whilst HE may be found. Time is fast running out. You need to decide whether you want to spend eternity in the joyous presence of GOD and with HIS son JESUS in Heaven, or under the wrath of GOD in Hell for rejecting HIM and HIS son JESUS, who paid the price for our sins.
More of Robin's Testimony...
Breaking the chains
When I wrote my testimony as led by YAHU'VAH I gave an overview of my life and its struggles. One particular struggle that lasted for years was with pornography and fetishes.
YAHU'VAH would now have me say some more about this. It is not an easy struggle to admit to and there are many who wrestle with sexual lust of one form or another. Let me first say that recognizing before YAHU'VAH that this sin is an issue is a very good first step to dealing with it and coming to a place of victory over it. Denial will never help.
When a relationship fell apart just before my baptism, with a girl who attended the same church, my emotions were in tatters. Even though I made a verbal and physical commitment through my baptism before YAHU'VAH to live a Holy life, my life soon went into a spiritual wilderness and the effects of the broken relationship hit me like a ton of bricks. I had wrongly put my security in this girl and now she was gone it felt like my world had been turned upside down. The result of this was that I slipped into things I shouldn't have including huge debts. But my biggest problem was my growing interest over a period of years in pornography and fetishes. This is what I am going to elaborate on a little.
Firstly, let me clarify a couple of things. Pornography involves everything to do with sex and sexual activities. A fetish is an obsession with a sexual related thing but also expands into areas that are not necessarily to do with sex but more to do with issues of domination and submission. You could say that fetishes are specialized areas of pornography. To save confusion, I will only use the more familiar term of pornography from here onwards. Pornography is a very dangerous addiction that can destroy the life of the addict and sometimes the lives of others such as family and friends. It is available on the television, in magazines, on the telephone but particularly and mostly on the Internet.
Pornography is big business for the devil. It is also an offence to YAHU'VAH to be involved in such things and HIS blessing will not be upon your life if you continually seek personal pleasure in your life from such abominations. However, one thing I empathize with is that feeling of being trapped. I personally became so trapped in these sins that I lost all hope of ever being free of them. When I came to understand that these sins were an abomination to YAHU'VAH, whilst still feeling there was no escape from them because of the strong addiction, I began to assume I was on my way to hell. This tormented me for a long time.
So how did these sins affect my life? The more I looked at pornography, the more I created fantasies in my head. As time went on, they got more and more perverted. This scared me but I felt powerless to break away from my addiction. I spent vast amounts of money trying to satisfy my lust such as through chat lines. I tried to meet up with girls but every single time YAHU'VAH prevented this from happening to protect me. Very rarely with pornography, do you find your appetite for lust is under control. This is why it is such a perilous addiction. The devil will tempt your flesh constantly knowing that it will keep craving more and more.
However, there is tremendous hope for what may seem like a hopeless situation. YAHSHUA died on a cross and bore the punishment for ALL sin. Sinners can approach the throne of YAHU'VAH with confidence in the name of YAHSHUA.
John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth and the life. No-one can come to the Father except by me."
Luke 9:23 " If anyone would come after me, HE must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me."
Pornography is a sin that YAHSHUA overcame on the cross. It has no power over those who believe that through HIS shed blood they have victory over sin and all it's temptations.
I used to believe that pornography had defeated me. That it's chains were too tight and the temptations were too strong to resist. I also thought Hell was inevitable. BUT I WAS WRONG!!! Since coming to Almightywind, I have been more and more convicted of sin and the need to be Holy. YAHSHUA's love is like no other. I thought HE had given up on me years ago, but HE hadn't. I was the prodigal son when I came to Almightywind. Having lived a life of sin for many years and NOT finding lasting security or happiness in any of the things I indulged in, I finally found what my heart was really searching for in YAHSHUA.
YAHSHUA is the perfect reflection of YAHU'VAH. If you want to know what YAHU'VAH is like, look to YAHSHUA.
YAHU'VAH has a message for all who feel trapped in pornography. If you truly believe in your heart that YAHSHUA died for your sins and are willing to turn away from them, then you can have victory over all your temptations.
James 4:7 "Submit to YAHU'VAH. Resist the devil and he will flee."
I can testify to this. I once believed I was a prisoner to pornography forever. But the power of the cross and HIS shed blood broke my prison doors and now I have victory over my temptations. Please don't think that because of this the spiritual battle will get easier and the temptations will not be as severe. In my own life, the temptations seem more severe than ever and every hour of every day I have to hang onto YAHSHUA's garment and not let go no matter what. But HE is faithful and will help us in our hour of need, if we will but believe.
YAHSHUA is my KING, my SAVIOUR and my HERO!!!
Look to YAHSHUA and believe upon HIM. HE is coming soon – will you be ready?
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We believe in the rapture, we believe there is a hell eternal, we believe to be absent from the body is to be present with YAHUSHUA, also named in Greek JESUS CHRIST. Seventh-Day Adventists believe the lie of soul sleep. Remember the thief hanging on the cross who, because he believed on Him, was told by YAHUSHUA, "Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43, KJV)
We know that Prophecy did not cease with Ellen G. White and Seventh-Day Adventists believe in Ellen G. White as the only prophet for today, though she is dead and what she prophesied did not come to pass.
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